Photo Credit: Vampire Diaires / The CW

How would we describe Vampire Diaries episode 3.12 in only three words? Poignant. Bittersweet. Riveting. So much went down—from Elena giving Stefan the 411 on her kiss with Damon to Elijah popping up for a grand finale, “The Ties That Bind” was truly an emotional rollercoaster ride! In fact, it was so stirring, we can’t do it justice in mere prose. We must handle each shocking scene with as much determination and commitment as Alaric Saltzman lifting weights.  So how about some “soothing,” traditional poetry to sort through all the unforgettable TVD moments? Let’s get to it then!

Check out this week’s haiku recap for Vampire Diaries episode 3.12, “The Ties That Bind”!

1. Sunny day outside,
   Bon’s at the cemetery.
   But she ain’t alone…
2. Klaus is there. Ahh, run!
   Too late. He bites and locks her
   in a coffin. Noooooo!
3. Phew! Just a witchmare
   (Not for The Secret Circle‘s
   Cass though. Totes unfair!)
4. Bonnie is convinced
   her mom knows how to open
   the coffin. Road trip!
5. Elena’s pumped: “North
   Carolina, here we come!
   Not you though, Damon…”
6. Hold up, Doppel G.
   Damon has secrets to blurt:
   “We kissed. Now it’s weird.”
7. Safe journey, girls? Bon’s
   confused but she rolls her eyes
   and says “Whatevaaaa!”
8. Let the family
   reunions commence! Bill Forbes
   returns to help Ty.
9. Ya know, with that damn
   sire bond. But Vampire
   Barbs is mortified.
10. And who could blame her:
    Ty’s shirtless and Bill’s got him
    in chains. Awkward much?
11. All’s not well. Klaus sends
    wing-man hybrid to Abby’s
    house. Time to compel!
12. Damon drops by the
    hospital to chat with Ric’s
    Dr. Psycho Fell.
13. But she vervains him,
    then jacks his blood. Damon runs
    and tattles to Ric.
14. Sadly, Bonnie and
    Elena are clueless. They
    rev engine, blast tunes.
15. Stefan calls his ex.
    “Where you at babygirl?” “None
    of your biznatch, homes!”
16. Bonnie and Abby
    meet after fifteen long years.
    hella uncomfy!
17. Bill kicks out Car
    and gets rough with Ty. “Change now!”
    Ty cries, “Leave me be!”
18. With some “urging” though
    from ol’ Bill he does. It works!
    Uh-oh. He pries loose…
19. Bones break, metal snaps –
    Ty charges at the slayer
    on all four paws. Gross!
20. Ty mauls his lady’s
    dad. So much for a good im-
    -pression. Ay yi yi.
21. Ric’s pumping iron.
    Looks hot, doesn’t care but D’s
    throwing a tantrum.
22. “Alright!” He asks the
    doc why she pricked D. She uses
    blood to save patients…
23. Dr. Fell ain’t cray cray!
    She just prefers life over
    death. Perfectionist?
24. You betcha! She trips
    up ol’ Billy with the V.
    He sighs, “Damn, girl. Thanks?”
    Story-time with Abs:
    She left cause of Elena.
    Say what? So juicy!
25. She cast a spell on
    Mikael for Elena’s mom.
    Locked him in coffin.
26. Then, Abby fled town
    and left poor Bonnie behind.
    Tears start glistening.
27. Elena steps out.
    Mister Ripper awaits. “Boo”!
    “Ugh, lame.” she mutters.
28. Stef won’t leave. Jaime
    appears…so he compels him
    to leave. Which he does…
29. Until he returns
    with a wooden bullet gun
    and aims at poor Stef.
30. BANG! Stefan crumbles
    realizes Jaime’s com-
    pelled! A tad late, dude.
31. Bon hears shotgun, goes
    to look…and Abby “herbs”
    her. Sleep tight, daughter.
32. Jaime ties up the
    doppelganger too. But she
    tricks him, whacks him good.
33. She plucks bullets from
    Stefan’s chiseled chest with bare
    fingers. “Ouch!” “Hush now.”
34. Klaus’s hybrid wants
    to know coffin location.
    Bon must fess up or…
35. Jaime gets it! Abby’s
    protecting him, but let’s Bon
    text Damon a warning.
36. Stefan’s thankful that
    Elena ripped out bullets.
    They share longing look…
37. Bad timing alert!
    E tells S about porch kiss
    she shared with Damon.
38. She thinks her ex don’t
    care…but he does. His green eyes
    teem with sadness. Aww!
39. Klaus visits witch house
    Demands coffins. They appear…
    along with headache!
40. Damon laughs. Dead witch
    headaches look funny on Klaus.
    Plus, he hid main box!
41. Elena returns
    home and interrupts Ric and
    Mer mid-kiss. Y’all busted!
42. Elena may be
    queen bee of her house but she
    grants her blessing. Aww.
43. Stef enters mansion
    and punches Damon. “Stop with
    the smoochies, bro!” Wham.
44. Klaus assumes he’s won.
    But au contraire Monsieur Hy-
    brid. More shocks to come…
45. Like a wingman’s heart
    getting torn by Elijah .
    Welcome back, brother!

What was your favorite scene from “The Ties That Bind”? Name your top moment below and don’t forget to tune in for an all new Vampire Diaries episode this Thursday at 8/7 c on The CW!