Haiku Recap for The Vampire Diaries Season 3, Episode 19: Motel Kisses, Helicopter Parents & Ghost Wisdom

Heart of Darkness - Damon and ElenaHow would we describe The Vampire Diaries Season 3, Episode 19 in three words? Clenching, passionate, troublesome. So much went down in not only in Mystic Falls but in Denver, Colorado as well! First, let’s hear it for Alaric for enduring yet another gruesome death on the show. (Work that ring magic, hot stuff!) Second, let’s pour out a nice, cold glass of water and splash it right over our heads because, after heavy motel kissage, Damon and Elena gave viewers everywhere a record-breaking fever. (Ay caramaba!) Third, turn up the Boyz II Men tunes in honor of poor Stefan Salvatore who’s suffering through a serious brooding stage now ever since Elena began macking it to Damon. Now hold onto all those emotions and get ready to transform them into poetry with this week’s TVD haiku recap!

The Vampire Diaries Episode 319: “Heart of Darkness” Haiku Recap:

  1. Ric wastes away
    in a Salvatore holding
    cell. He looks mad bored.
  2. Have no fear, guess who’s
    here! Elena waltzs in
    bearing dental gear.
  3. Insert awkward scene:
    “I’m going to Denver…with
    Damon,” E confides.
  4. Ric shoots her dirty
    a glance. “Do I look like Dear
    Abby to you, girl?”
  5. Elena switches
    topic: “Going to bring home
    Jer too, dude.” Hooray!
  6. Decade dance planning
    commences. Matt’s super nice to Bex,
    Caroline freaks out.
  7. Bex has changed the theme
    from disco to the Roaring
    Twenties. Matt agrees.
  8. Syke. Car ain’t mad, it’s
    all a ruse. But Matt ends up
    driving Bex home. Sparks!
  9. Caroline races
    into woods. Tyler’s waiting
    there. Booty call time!
  10. Elena travels
    to Denver with Damon. He’s
    a good road trip bud.
  11. “Hi, baby bro!” she
    cheers from behind a fence. Cute…
    but mostly creepy.
  12. Jer looks totes confused.
    “Girl, what you doing here?!” he
    asks with worried look.
  13. She responds, “Love you,
    miss you, need you to talk to
    dead peeps. Okey dokey?”
  14. Jer shrugs his shoulders.
    “Hey meet my bff, guys!”
    Out strolls ol’ Kol. NOOOOOOOOO!
  15. Crack-a-lack-whack goes
    the bat in Kol’s hand when
    he swings at Damon.
  16. But Damon’s quick and
    sticks it right where it hurts. They
    race to sketch motel
  17. to seek refuge from
    baby OG…and to make
    Jer talk to ghost Rose.
  18. Damon’s sure Rose is
    around. Who wouldn’t want to
    haunt him forever?
  19. Rose don’t play no games.
    She shares that her sire’s name
    is Mary Porter.
  20. Back at dungeons de
    Salvatore, evil Ric’s being shy.
    Stef’s losing patience.
  21. Klaus to the rescue!
    If snapping Ric’s neck counts
    as heroic act…
  22. Bex comes home, Esther’s
    there. Helicopter paren-
    ting at its best, folks.
  23. Suddenly, Esther gets
    all Buffy Season 1 Ep
    3 on poor lil’ Bex…
  24. She seizes control
    of her body, makes a switch.
    Freaky Friday yo!
  25. Car spills beans to Ty:
    “Yo, someone’s gonna die, proba-
    -bly you,” she laments.
  26. Setting: Dingy room
    at a motel. Elena
    pretends to sleep while
  27. Damon undresses.
    She peeks at his chiseled abs,
    he lays next to her.
  28. “Why don’t you allow
    people to see all the good
    in you?” she inquires.
  29. “Because I don’t want
    to live up to expecta-
    -tions, girl,” he retorts.
  30. Heavy breathing, hand
    grazing ensues. Elena
    gets way too flustered,
  31. She races out of
    room. Damon follows her.
    Steamy kisses start.
  32. Passion fills the night.
    Screeeeeech…”Um, guys, whatchu doing”?
    Jer tries to c*ck block.
  33. Road trip to Mary’s
    abode…in Kansas. (A tad
    inconvenient, Rose!)
  34. Oh, look. A creepy,
    run-down house…let’s enter it!
    Wrong choice — Mary’s been staked
  35. by Kol is waiting
    there to beat on poor Damon
    Pow pow pow! Ouchie.
  36. Ric’s alive but his
    dark side’s MIA. Wherefore
    art thou evil dude?
  37. Stefan’s inspired,
    pounds Ric’s face in, chokes him a
    bit. “Emerge now, punk!”
  38. Alter ego
    bursts out. “I’m here sucka,” he
    shouts, “Ready to play!”
  39. Stef threatens to kill
    so Bad Boy Ric tells him stake’s
    locale…in the cave!
  40. Bex accompanies Ric
    to cave, confesses that she’s
    Mommy Dearest. Yay…?
  41. Klaus is a dreamer,
    misses Ripper Stefan, wants
    him to make comeback.
  42. Damon’s wounded, his eyes
    plead for a kiss but E plays
    love games like Gaga.
  43. Ugh. He’s so over
    being her lil’ boy toy. “RESPECT,
    homegirl. Peace out.”
  44. Who’s Team Delena?
    Rose, that’s who! She informs Jer
    that Damon’s good for his
  45. big sis. Stef’s love is
    pure but Damon challenges
    her. Jer’s like, “Okay…”
  46. Ty finds his sire’s
    horsie drawing stashed in Car’s room.
    Gets jealous, storms off.
  47. Mama Esther’s goal-
    oriented, wants vamps to
    die. Ric will help. Sigh.


Now dive into pictures from the drama-filled evening!




Photo Credit: The Vampire Diaries / The CW



Photo Credit: The Vampire Diaries / The CW



Photo Credit: The Vampire Diaries / The CW



Photo Credit: The Vampire Diaries / The CW



Photo Credit: The Vampire Diaries / The CW



Photo Credit: The Vampire Diaries / The CW



Photo Credit: The Vampire Diaries / The CW



Photo Credit: The Vampire Diaries / The CW



Photo Credit: The Vampire Diaries / The CW

 

So, tell us: Which moment from Vampire Diaries season 3, episode 19 left you utterly breathless? Spill in the comments!

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