The second episode of The Vampire Diaries‘ fourth season had it all: Heartache. Blood. Slayer Terror. Suspense. Tears. And, supernatural mayhem and haunting tunes aside, one of our favorite things about “Memorial” was that all our beloved Mystic Falls residents had such beautiful and incredible things to say throughout the night. Check out a list of the 25 most unforgettable quotes from TVD episode 4.02 below!

Photo Credit: The Vampire Diaries / The CW

1. “She needs human blood, Stefan…from the VEIN.” Is the Vein a new eatery, Damon? Because we’d definitely love to join you on your foodie adventures!
2. “It’s a cheat. It’s like giving a kid a calculator before they know math.” We adore you, Damon, but technically if a kid doesn’t know math, they wouldn’t be able to figure out how to effectively use a calculator. Just saying.
3. “This is wrong. A bunch of people died and we’re having sex.” Memorials, ice-cream, baby-making music. Whatever helps you work through the grief, sweet Caroline, should be embraced.
4. “She’s a vampire because of me so I’d like to pay it back or forward or whatever.” Matt’s awesome but he needs to stop stating the obvious. Also, if he would like to pay it forward by walking around shirtless, then that’s fine by us!
5. “Don’t worry. He will heal. Bigger animals are more resilient.” Oh, Stefan. You’re so sweet but yet you know so little. We’re betting the poor deer doesn’t share your exact sentiments.
6. “I was a cheerleader. I sucked at track.” With all due respect, Elena, but aren’t cheerleaders all about speed and agility…just like runners? Get it together, girl!
7. “No come on. Stefan I’m okay. You’re not exactly a drop-by kinda guy. If something’s wrong tell me.” Poor Bonnie’s passive aggressive way of hinting that her friends are using her for her magic. In a nutshell.
8. “Everything is heightened. Taste, smell, sight, touch…” Blood vomiting aside, being a vampire sounds super fun. Stefan sure knows how to sell it!
9. “Grief sex. It’s healthy.” Meet Tyler Lockwood, y’all, every Planned Parenthood organization’s worst nightmare.
10. “Sorry. I’m a mess. I’ve been holed up in here avoiding everyone. I’ve completely blown off Jamie. You came here cause you needed something, right?” Oh, wait. Bonnie decided to scrap the passive aggressiveness and just get right to the point. Condescending Wonka moment, what what!
11. “If I was going to kill twelve people I wouldn’t blow them up. I’d have a dinner party.” Waste not, folks. Leave it to Damon to be resourceful when it comes to meals!
12. “Wow. I am being a freak. I’m not much for grief I guess. I have to go register or something.. I think.” April you are not freak. Repeat after us, “I am a strong and powerful woman and I will get through this.” (Or at least allow Elena to compel you again…)
13. “I know it was disgusting and traumatic and it was horrible. But you did it anyway. You survived it.” Well, when you put it that way, Stefan…
14. “Hmm. That’s bad timing.” Poor Bonnie. Just when she thinks she’s out they pull her back in.
15. “You name me one who went on a bunny diet and didn’t kill dozens.” Sarcasm from Damon? None of that here, officer!
16. “Besides, if we stopped having sex every time somebody died in this town, we’d explode.” Seriously. Tyler has a point. It’s basic science — an influx of hormones creates a very unpleasant experience!
17. “Nah nah nah. I’m actually in environmental clean-up. Heard you had a bit of a pollution problem.” Get one thing straight, everyone – Connor Jordan ain’t putting up with littering vamps!
18. “Bonnie, I know you’re in there. I can hear you breathing. Bonnie, please, it’s important.” There’s a name for this kind of behavior, dear Stefan, and it’s called “stalkerish.” Stop creeping!
19. “Jeremy? Picture an emo pixie cut and braces.” Don’t you hate it when gorgeous people try to downgrade themselves? Get the heck outta here, April, and take your beautiful face with you!
20. “Damon. Germaphobe.” The correct terms for a person afraid of germs is mysophobe. But we’ll let it slide just this once, Damon. Because of them eyes.
21. “Also, if he shows his face, I’m going to kick his ass.” Caroline just did a snap snap and a circle all over the crazy new hunter’s face. Suck on that, Connor!
22. “Listen I choked it down for a month before I could stomach the taste. It gets easier. This on the other hand will go down like silk.” Just another example of how Stefan secretly hates bunny blood.
23. “Well enjoy your stay. We love visitors. And the scenery is to die for. ::Gasp:: Funeral pun. Too soon.” Nothing like a perfectly timed zinger to lighten the mood. Thanks, Damon!
24. “I’ve known some of the council since I was a kid. They were my friends.” So by Liz’s definition, friends are the ones who try to murder your wonderful daughter. Okey-dokey.
25. “I feel like I’ve been crying since the day that my parents died and my life is like a never-ending funeral. We keep burying people, Stefan. You want to know what’s heightened? This grief, I can’t stop feeling everybody’s grief. All the hurt…I feel like it’s trying to explode out of me.” Elena basically recapped the emotional crux of the first three seasons of The Vampire Diaries in five simple lines. Impressive!

What was your favorite quote from The Vampire Diaries Season 4, Episode 2? Post it the comments!